


Father, Where Art Thou?

by Browniesarethebest



Series: Sam is God [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Deity Sam Winchester, Gen, Post-Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Sam Winchester is God, Sam Winchester is So Done, Sam is not here for it, The angels have Daddy issues, The angels want their dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-12-28 10:56:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21135581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Browniesarethebest/pseuds/Browniesarethebest
Summary: Sam opens the Cage and is never the same again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Where have all the good men gone (And where are all the Gods?)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595214) by [DabbleInDrabble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DabbleInDrabble/pseuds/DabbleInDrabble). 

> So I've had this idea in my head for a while! This is going to be part of a much larger series, so I hope you guys like it!

The first time he met the Trickster, Sam felt as if he knew him from somewhere. This was a ridiculous notion, of course. Sam was pretty sure he would remember meeting a trickster at some point in his life. Perhaps he just passed the man on the street, and his face was just familiar.

It didn’t sound very believable to his own ears, but Sam couldn’t think of another explanation. The Trickster was dead now anyway, so it didn’t matter.

He ignored the pang of loss in his chest.

* * *

The second time Sam met the Trickster, he was too angry to think about that strange familiarity or the even stranger relief he felt at seeing the man alive. The Trickster had killed his brother over and _ over _ . Sam had had to listen to ‘Heat of the Moment’ so many times he had resorted to breaking the radio every Tuesday morning. Sam was tired and annoyed and _ beyond _ pissed, and he didn’t have time to study these sudden feelings he had every time he saw the man.

Sam pushed those feelings to the back of his mind once he got Dean back. He had a demon deal to break and not a lot of time to do it. He could ponder over the Trickster another time.

* * *

Apparently, the Trickster wasn’t the only one who felt familiar. Meeting Castiel, Zachariah, Anna, Uriel…They _ all _ felt familiar, like some forgotten dream. 

Once again, Sam didn’t have much time to think about it. He was too busy trying to stop the Apocalypse with Dean—too busy building power with Ruby and hiding it from Dean.

He could think about it later.

* * *

Sam was a monster.

He had let himself be manipulated and opened the final seal of Hell. He brought the Apocalypse on Earth and was going to be responsible for the deaths of billions of people.

Finding out that the angels had been working with demons—pushed Dean and him to fulfill their ‘destiny’—made him so unbelievably _ angry_.

He could handle the angels not quite being the kind and giving beings he thought they were. He could handle the dirty looks the angels gave him. He could even handle the angels calling him an abomination—Lord knew he deserved it.

But manipulating _ Dean_? Trying to force him to say yes to Michael? It made Sam furious.

But he pushed it down. Now, Dean and him had to clean up Sam’s mess. Once Lucifer was defeated, then he would show the angels why they shouldn’t mess with the Winchesters.

And deal with this headache. One that had formed and had only grown worse since the Cage had been opened.

One thing at a time, though. Some headache wasn’t even close to being as important as the Apocalypse. He would just take the pain as punishment. It was the least he deserved.

* * *

So the Trickster was actually the Archangel Gabriel.

As Gabriel ranted about being tired of the fighting, it clicked in some distant part of Sam’s mind that all these beings that felt so familiar to him were all angels. Why? Was it because they had been orchestrating everything that happened to his family long before he was born? Had they been watching over him, and he had just sensed it in some way? The idea was ridiculous, but he couldn’t figure out any other reason. He’d have to go to Dean about this at some point.

After the Apocalypse, though.

* * *

When Lucifer killed Gabriel, a scream ripped its way out of Sam’s throat, cutting Dean and Kali’s argument off. He didn’t know why he felt such a profound loss—he didn’t even know how he knew Gabriel was dead. He just...did.

Dean looked over at Sam, an incredulous look on his face. “What the hell was that?”

Sam’s eyes slid over to Dean for just a moment (Dean flinched at the absolute devastation in his brother’s eyes) before looking forward again. “Gabriel is dead.”

“What—”

“I don’t know, Dean. I just…” Sam ran a hand over his mouth, fighting back tears. What was wrong with him? He barely knew Gabriel!

“I’ll explain later.” Sam said. “For now, we need to figure out how to kill Lucifer.”

Sam blamed the part of him that hurt at the thought of killing Lucifer to said Archangel’s dream invasions. 

It had to be.

* * *

Sam had said yes.

Sam had let Lucifer in.

Sam had let Lucifer kill Bobby and Castiel.

Sam had _ not _ let Lucifer kill Dean.

He took control. He opened the Cage. He was ready to jump—

—when the most beautiful Light suddenly burst forth from the hole in the ground.

It was the brightest Light he had ever seen, and he currently had Lucifer—the _ Morningstar_, the Brightest Angel—residing in him. He vaguely sensed Dean covering his eyes and Michael staring in awe (Lucifer, too, was staring in awe from within Sam).

Without hesitation, like it was instinct, Sam flung his arms out and embraced the Light as it slammed into him. Instead of pain, Sam felt a profound warmth surge through him. Over the ringing of the Light, Sam heard Lucifer screaming as he was blasted from Sam. He didn’t know where the Devil went, but he couldn’t find the mental capacity to care. The Light was flowing through him, setting fire to every nerve and thought and sense. There was nothing but Sam and Light. Light and Sam. 

They were One.

Time felt much too short before the glow around Sam began to fade. He gently drifted to the ground (when had he risen in the air?) and opened His glowing eyes. When He turned his head towards Michael, the Archangel immediately fell to one knee.

“I—”

Sam held His hand up, silencing Michael, and made His way over to Dean, who had lowered his arm to stare at Sam. Sam kneeled down and pressed two fingers to Dean’s temple, healing the man instantly. Next, He went over to Bobby and (what was left of) Castiel and did the same, the both of them gasping as they were brought back.

Sam turned back, smiling at Dean, before His eyes rolled up in His head and He collapsed.

“Sam!”

“Father!”

* * *

Sam woke to arguing voices.

He opened his eyes slowly, having to close them again against the bright light of the room. When he finally could open them, he noticed he was in a room so white it was almost blinding. Taking stock of his situation, he could feel that he was lying on a soft bed—the softest he thought he’d ever lain on. Lavish paintings lined the walls and when he looked forward (his bed was facing the rest of the room), he found a table lined with the fanciest looking foods he had ever seen. His legs shifted, causing foreign cloth to brush against them. Lifting an arm, he found himself in a white robe.

By that point, the voices had stopped, and he suddenly found two men hovering over him, one of which was Adam (_Michael. It was Michael. Adam was dead._).

“Uh—”

“Father, how are you feeling?” The unknown male pressed a hand to his forehead, which Sam shied away from, causing the man to frown. 

“What—” Sam coughed, and the unknown man immediately reached out again, but Sam dodged him. “What is going on?”

“Reuniting with your Self took most of your energy.” The unknown male said. “Not to mention you immediately healed a human, brought one back, and then brought back an angel. Your power is vast, but we all have our limit.”

Sam eyed the man warily. “Who are you?”

Both men (angels?) froze, staring at Sam in shock. Michael was the first to speak. “You do not know who he is?”

Sam shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing as the strange man’s face fell for a moment before smoothing out.

“I am Raphael. Perhaps your memories became scrambled when you took back your Self.” He reached forward again, but Sam batted his hand away. Sam scrambled off the bed and backed towards the wall.

“I don’t know what you want with me, but whatever it is, you can’t have it.”

Michael took a step forward. “Father—”

“Why do you keep calling me that? Stop calling me that.” Sam’s eyes were wide with panic. He was trapped in some room with two Archangels and no Dean. Where was he? Where was Dean? What happened? The last thing he remembered was getting ready to throw Lucifer back in the—

_ Lucifer! _

Where was he? Lucifer was no longer possessing him—Sam could feel that. However, something was still wrong with him. It felt like his entire body was buzzing under his skin, not in an itchy way but more like his entire body had fallen asleep and was slow to wake up.

“What happened? Where’s Dean? Where’s Lucifer?” Sam stared at the Archangels, who simply stared back.

“What is the last thing you remember?” Michael asked.

“I opened the Cage, and I was about to throw myself in and then...nothing.”

A look passed between the two Archangels that Sam did not understand. He was really starting to get frustrated with not knowing what was going on. “Where am I? Why am I not in the Cage? Where’s Dean?”

Another look was exchanged between Michael and Raphael before Michael stepped forward. “When you reopened the Cage to throw Lucifer back in, we believe you released your Self, which you must have locked down there after having Lucifer cast out of Heaven.”

“When I…” Sam straightened and held back the laugh that suddenly built in his throat. “You think that I’m…” Sam couldn’t believe he was about to say it. “...God?” A hysterical giggle slipped out.

“Yes.” 

Sam stared at Michael. This had to be a joke. As far as Sam knew, angels didn’t joke, but this had to be one. Him? God? It was ridiculous. Sam was an abomination. He started the Apocalypse. He couldn’t be God.

He was too fucked up to be God.

But then why would Michael and Raphael tell him so? Why would they go through all this trouble to convince Sam that he was?

Where was Dean?

With that question in mind, Sam suddenly disappeared from the bright room, unable to hear the two Archangels cry out with worry. He reappeared in a motel room. Dean was sat at the rickety table while Cas stood beside him. At his appearance, Dean stood while Cas stared in shock.

“Sam!” Dean rushed forward as Sam collapsed to his knees.

“Dean.” Sam stared back into Cas’s eyes as Dean knelt and gathered his brother into his arms. His eyes closed tiredly. When he opened them again, he found both men staring at him. Sam’s eyes slid to Dean’s.

“Dean, I need your help.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was Castiel who spoke first. “I do not understand.”

“What do you mean, Cas?” Dean asked, not taking his eyes off Sam as he checked his brother over.

“He is…”

Sam glared. “Don’t say it.”

“Don’t say what?” Dean looked between the two before focusing on Sam. “Where the hell have you been? After you passed out, the douchebag in Adam’s body took you away somewhere.” Dean suddenly narrowed his eyes. “You’re not still possessed by Lucifer, are you?”

“What? No? I don’t think so.” 

Cas took a step forward, staring at Sam with awe. “You—”

“Nope. No. Don’t say it, Cas. I’m serious.”

“Don’t say what?” Dean looked between the two. “What the hell is going on? And what the hell are you wearing?”

Cas ignored Dean and took another step forward. Sam followed with a step back. “It should not be possible.” Cas wavered before suddenly dropping to one knee, shocking both brothers. “Father.”

Sam backed up with his hands out defensively, his face twisting in discomfort. “Please don’t call me that.”

“Cas, what the hell are you doing?” Dean asked. “Somebody better start talking!”

“Sam is...God.” Cas finally said, staring up at Sam with awe. “I do not know how, but—”

“Because I’m not! Stop saying that!” Sam gestured wildly down at Cas. “And stand up please. I’m not God. I’m not...I’m not anything. So please stop kneeling.”

“But Father—”

“I said **STOP**!”

Cas froze, his mouth half open with a protest. Sam and Dean stared.

“Cas?” Dean stepped forward and crouched down. He poked Cas’s shoulder, but the angel didn’t move. Dean looked up at Sam with wide eyes. “What the hell did you do?”

“I—I don’t know. I just—I wanted him to stop calling me that.”

“Well, he stopped, so you can unfreeze him now.”

“Um…”

“‘Um,’ what?” Dean waved towards Cas. “Unfreeze him, Sam!”

“I’m-I’m not sure how!”

“You made him stop, right? So just think about letting him move again. That should work, right?”

“I-I guess.” Sam stared at Cas, concentrating on sending thoughts of ‘move’ towards the angel. After a few tense seconds of silence—

“—that is who you are. You—” Cas paused, noticing that both brothers were not in the same position they had been in when he had first started speaking. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry, Cas. I just wanted you to stop calling me ‘Father’, and I guess I accidentally made you stop—like completely. You weren’t talking or moving or anything.”

Before Cas could reply, Michael and Raphael appeared in the room between Sam and the two men kneeling on the floor. Sam backed away immediately, just dodging Raphael’s reaching hand while Michael pointed his blade at Dean and Cas.

“You shall stay away from Father, Castiel.” Michael ordered, completely ignoring Dean. “He is simply confused right now, and I refuse to have you sway him towards your traitorous ways.”

Sam squawked. Dean stood and took a step forward, stopping when the point of Michael’s blade poked his chest.

“Do not test me, Dean Winchester.” Michael growled. “You are no longer necessary. Force my hand, and I will not hesitate to end you.”

Sam saw red. After everything the brothers had been through—after all the trouble the angels went through to get Dean to say yes—suddenly Dean was useless? 

Rage poured off the hunter-turned-God in waves. All three angels in the room could feel it, and they turned toward Sam warily.

“Fath—” Michael was unable to finish his sentence as he and Raphael were slammed into the wall. Sam stalked towards them, his eyes and body sparking with Light.

“After everything we’ve done to stop you sons of bitches—” The two archangels flinched at the insult. “—after every manipulation to try to get us to say ‘yes’, suddenly it was for nothing? Dean’s _ expendable_?”

The room was slowly getting brighter—so bright Dean had to shut his eyes. “Sam!”

Sam didn’t hear him. “For angels who have spent years pushing my family towards the path you wanted, you know nothing about me. If you truly believe me to be your father, then you should know _ not to threaten Dean_.”

The walls cracked with the increasing pressure being put on the archangels. Dean lowered his arm and stared for a moment, flashing back to the psychic crap and the demon blood, before he had to cover his eyes again. The look in Sam’s eyes was the same as back then—and _ fuck_, Dean couldn’t stand to see his brother like that again.

“Sam!” Dean stepped forward, blindly reaching out and grabbing Sam’s arm. Sam’s head snapped toward the movement before looking up at Dean. Seeing the fear in Dean’s eyes (though Dean would never admit to it)—that ‘how the fuck do I deal with this’ look—caused Sam’s shoulders to hunch. The light emitting from his body dimmed, and the archangels slid to the floor. Sam looked back at them, his body itching to kill them right then and there (he could do it now with the power he had), but that little niggling in the back of his mind that he always got around Gabriel stopped him. Sam hated it, but Michael and Raphael did have a familiarity to them that made him just the slightest bit reluctant to kill them. He wouldn’t do it.

For now.

“Leave.” Sam ordered, glaring at the pair. Michael immediately moved to one knee, bowing his head in deference.

“Father, I—”

“**LEAVE**!” Sam’s voice boomed, and the archangels were gone with a flap of wings, leaving the room in silence. Sam chanced a glance at Dean and felt his face fall. Sam could feel the apprehension Dean was projecting (and he wasn’t sure if that was because he knew Dean so well or if he was actually feeling the emotion because apparently he was actually God). Sam took a hesitant step forward. “Dean?”

Dean was silent for a moment as he thought about what the fuck he was going to do. Finally, he squeezed Sam’s shoulder, not only to reassure Sam but also himself. “We’ll figure this out, Sam.”

Sam nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Usually, Sam would trust that Dean would make this right—his brother always did—but this time was different. Sam didn’t think this was something they could just fix. He was _ God_. How were they supposed to fix _ that_?

Sam didn’t say anything, though. He had already brought so much grief on Dean—and continued to do so, it seems. He’d let Dean have a little hope of making him normal for as long as possible.

They both needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to send me prompts or talk to me at browniesarethebest.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to send me prompts or ask me questions at browniesarethebest.tumblr.com!


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